Cindy 911
by skammers
Summary: Cindy enters the battle of the bands, but Flace wants to show his true feelings. Oh dear...Rated K for 'kool' and bad acting. Co written with Marvellous G. Enjoy...
1. Chapter 1 : 22 minutes of fun!

**Chloe 911: A Parody of Zoey 101**

_(Are you ready?)_

_No_

Oo-ooh  
I know you see me standing here  
Do I look good my dear  
Do I look good today  
Oh Oh Oh  
I'm just another bimbo girl  
In a pink and preppy world  
And you can't run away  
Yeah Yeah

If you wanna play  
Come and play today  
Let's just get away  
Yeah

I will make you see  
Why everyone on this show's preppy  
Come see for yourself  
Though we've no guarantees  
Yeah Yeah  
Yeah

_YES._

Chloe woke up with a start. 'Oh. My. God! See, if this were a real school, I'd say we were late… but, we never actually have any lessons, so… no biggie!'

Dana rolled over, groaning angrily after being awoken by Chloe's whine. 'Shut up already!'

Chloe narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice dangerously. 'You're not in this series, Dana', she whispered. 'Daddy cut you. Get. Out.'

There was a series of bright pink sparks around Dana's bed, and a few seconds later, Cola lay in her place, an artificial grin etched onto her face with eerie cheerfulness. 'Morning!' she chirped, again eerily peppy.

Nikk-kole sat up, her make-up miraculously still intact. 'What day is it?' she yawned, suspiciously bright-eyed for someone who had just woken up.

Chloe leapt from her bed in her bright pink PJs. 'Oh my gosh! I just remembered! Another secondhand plot for another peppy day at this remarkably un-academic academy. It's the Battle Of The Bands!'

Cola frowned. 'We never have lessons at this school, do we?'

'Shuddup,' Chloe hissed. 'We're three series in and no one's realised yet.'

Cola rolled her eyes. 'Fine. Well, the show must go on. Let's go meet the guys for breakfast.'

**Zoey's leadership meter: **Dropped 4 due to lack of authority over Cola.

'Oh… hi, Chloe,' Flace said, instantly nervous at Chloe's arrival. 'Here – take my seat. _I love you_,' he added with a mutter.

'What?' Chloe squawked, taking Flace's seat and stuffing his grapes into her mouth.

Flace sighed. 'Oh, never mind. Just another failed attempt at subliminal communication.'

Chloe giggled, not understanding. 'You're funny, Flace. Hey, have you guys got your act together for the Battle of the Bands today?'

'Oh, yeah! The Battle of the Bands! It's gonna be super-cool.'

'Ultra-cool,' his characterless friend Matthew added dully.

'Yeah, and you know who's gonna win it!'

Everyone spun round. Slogan, PCA's favourite arrogant hottie (omigosh) stood over the table smirking. 'Our band is gonna win, like we do every year, even though none of the other kids at this school talk to us.'

'Strange, that,' mused Flace, his finger tenderly caressing his chin.

'Trying your subliminal messaging again?' wisecracked the ever-witty and cunning Chloe, attempting yet again to maintain her role as the likable leader. Everyone laughed unnervingly loudly, except Flace, who gazed at her with longing in his eyes.

'Hey, Flace, you got the mix ready on your laptop?' Slogan questioned his roommate.

'Yeah…' Flace replied wearily.

'Although I don't know how we afford so much stuff… I'm gonna go check it out. See you at the losers end, ladies,' he simpered. Chloe put a hand on her hips, her cool look coming out of the freezer for another round of awesome putdowns. 'You are a new kind of obnoxious. You're so jerky! Beef has nothing on you.'

'Oh, I'm so scared,' Slogan responded, biting his nails.

'Well, you should be! We're gonna whip your _be-_hind! Come on, Cola, Nikk-kol. We don't have to listen to this.' Although they had been talking the whole time and hadn't touched their food, the girls got up and mindlessly followed an indignant Chloe into another twenty-two minute instalment of fun and adventure.

Flace and Matthew were the only pair left. Flace banged his bushy head on the table. 'Man, I'm so in love with Chloe, but she doesn't even know I exist! What can I do, dude? I can't stand it anymore!'

Matthew continued his display of unenthusiasm, his eyes drooping and looking towards the sky before rolling lazily down to regard Flace again. 'Why don't you just change the lyrics to our song?' he said in a monotone. 'Tell Chloe you love her etc. etc.'

'That's brilliant, man, I owe you one!'

'Yes. I know. You actually owe me thirty-two. That's how many episodes we've had. The same plot. Only different guises.'

'Whatever, dude. You're talking crazy! Chloe can't miss this!'

'Yes. It's not like she hasn't missed thirty-two other subtle nudges in your direction, is it.'

'Shouldn't that end in a question mark?'

'Not if I don't care about your answer.'

Flace decided to ignore his negativity. 'I'm gonna do it! Chloe, you will be mine… at last…' he ended in a sinister hiss, skipping towards his dorm room to doctor the tape.

Matthew looks at a nearby building, contemplating whether a fall from that height would kill.

**Chloe's leadership meter:** Gained 2.74 for her monster bringdowns against Slogan.


	2. Chapter 2 : Into the mind of an idiot

Kapital Zwei

'Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeee-aaaaiiiiirrrrrrr! Za!' Chloe crooned triumphantly, kicking the amp over in a lame attempt at rock and roll.

_Meanwhile, in Chloe's brain:_ Another dumb blonde strolled out of a door and declared to the brain director, 'Sir, we're losing coolness on the leadership meter!' The BD's face twisted in alarm. 'OK! Open the hatches! Fire out a comment... from the cool box...' 'Sir, yes, sir! Also, the left wing's been knocked down...' 'It's never been operational! Just... get to it!'

Chloe blinked as she came back to the outside world to see Cola and Nikk-kol feigning delight. 'Chloe, that was... _awesome!_' Cola drawled ingenuinely from behind her plastic toy guitar. Nikk-kol gave the drums a final pat with her fluffy pink sticks. 'You rocked, Clo!'

'I gave you _some awe_... 'cause I'm _awe-some!_' Chloe laughed into the microphone as her sycophantic friends nodded, wincing.

_In Chloe's brain again:_ 'Mission accomplished sir. We put the 'K' into 'cool!'

Flace and Matthew slumped in their dorm. Despite the year-long sunshine, they always seemed to be indoors... always.

The peace was disturbed as Slogan burst into the room. 'You guys... we've got trouble!' Matthew looked up blankly. 'Oh no. Anything actually important?' Slogan glared at him sarcastically. 'Ha-_ha_, wise guy.'

'Thank you. I am pretty wise,' Matthew replied glumly.

'If you were fruit, you'd be sour grapes!' Slogan snarled brutally before turning to flace. 'I was just spying on the girls' reherseal.'

'Dude, that's not cool,' Flace said uncomfortably. 'That's warm, man!' He gave a lopside grin and a half-hearted drum roll in the air with his fists.

'I don't get it... shut up! Listen, man, Chloe's so much better than us... and, for the sake of filling in these twenty-two minutes, you have to sabotage her equipment so we can win.'

'WHAT?' Flace squawked. 'Why do all the plot devices end up with me having to hurt Chloe when it's not even nervous... I mean, necessary... what the hell...?' As Flace squinted at the script, Slogan handed him a baseball bat. '_Do it_.'

'No, seriously, is this a typo?' Flace asked the other two, concerned, with a necessary grin. 'I mean, how the hell does a necessary grin look? Shouldn't this mean nervous?'

'Shut up about your stupid scripting errors already!' Slogan demanded. 'We want to win this thing. And the only way that'll happen is if Chloe's band goes _down_.'

Flace sighed weakly and slumped out of the room. 'Surely that's not the only way of winning? I don't even like this where this is going. That new scriptwriter tried to sell me a watch, and the font on this script is written in blood... oh, I don't know...'


	3. Chapter 3 : Argumentities

Hello mortals. It's time for another chapter in... insert your preferred style of drumroll Cindy 911! You may be curious as to why it's called 'Cindy' 911, as the main charcater is called Chloe, but... So are we. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Three

As the moon began it's slow but steady ascent into the night sky, Flace trudged along behind the bushes, thinking.

'I wonder why we actually have to sabotage Chloe's awesome and cool etc etc rock band... Couldn't we just beat them the old-fashioned way : be better than them?' Flace then began to wonder why he was talking to himself.

'Why am I talking to myself?' he asked himself. 'Damn, I did it again!' And Flce did do it again.And again. In fact, he was chatting happily to himself for the entire journey over to Chloe's, Nikk-kole's and Cola's dorm. As he reached this point, he told himself to shut up. Seriously, he actually said to himself, 'shut up, dude!'. The freak. He leaned up and forced the peculiarly flimsy window lock open, before stopping to gaze at Chloe, thinkng unholy thoughts. He then shook his head, and clambered into the room causing an amount of noise that would wake the dead. But, fortunately for Flace, not our little peppy friends! No, they had been instructed by the director to stay put in bed, but Chloe couldn't resist a small peek. And when she 'subtly' opened one eye, she didn't lie what she saw...

'Oh my GOD, Flace! How could you do this!' Chloe yelled, her semi-Texan accent scaring Flace with it's authority.

'I haven't even done anything!' he retorted mentally punching himself every time he was rude to Chloe.

'You were gonna sabotage our band's instruments!'

'How the hell would you know that?'

' I read the script, dummy! You said it was nervous to Slogan!'

'_Necessary!_ I said it was _necessary!_ The new script-writer's a jerk, I tell you...'

'I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID CRYPT!' Chloe roared, spittle shooting out of her mouth onto Flace's 'stealth gear', which composed of a balck sock which went about halfway over his head and his mum's black tights. And a bin bag.

'See, that's another typo! That was definitely meant to be script, 'cause, I mean, I don't even _have _a crypt. I'm not dead yet,' Flace quipped.

'Oh, but you're gonna' be!' Chloe yelled, and chased Flace out of their dorm. At the exact moment the door closed, Coal and Nikk-kole sat up in their beds in unnerving unison.

'What happened, Clo?' Cola chirped, unaware that Chloe had just chased a fellow student out of her room, with her eyes glowing red. And the scary thing is, readers, she _wasn't wearing contacts._

Hope you liked the chapter. Oh, and by th way, Chloe's leadership meter went up 12 for her 0res0m3 ch00ns yesterday, taking it up to a staggering total of 110. And for those who don't speak 'kool', that means her great songs. It did, however, reach a record total of 125 today as she earned herself 15 points for terrifying a 15 year old boy. See you next time...


	4. Chapter 4: The Battle Begins! Part 1

Greetings again, mortals. Thanks to TripleMGeek for the review. Hint hint to other anonymous readers. We've had 87 hits, so we know you're reading... chuckles so come on, make our day and hit submit!

Chapter Four

'I. Cannot. _Believe_ it.' Chloe rolled her eyes at her friends as they sat at their breakfast table. Once more.

'I'm so excited about the battle of the bands today,' Nikk-kole drawled, trying to change the subject indiscreetly.

'Shut UP and LISTEN!' Chloe screeched angrily. 'Flace tried to sabotage our equipment! I am soooo mad! If I hadn't stopped him, we wouldn't even be competing today? How does that make you feel? STUPID!'

'OK, OK,' Cola muttered. 'It was... just... a plastic guitar,' she added carefully before screaming 'Ow!' as her electric collar, installed by the director, shocked her painfully for her insolence.

'I don't care!' Chloe ranted, apparently unaware or uncaring of her friend's pain (or, more likely, both.) 'We have to win and prove those idiots wrong, otherwise my leadership meter will drop to an all-time low. And I, for one, will not let that happen.'

'We're so with you, Clo,' Nikk-kol gushed.

'Great. Well, it's about to start. Let's go check out the competetition, before our moment of truth.' Cough cough

/ ---- -- ------------ -------- ---- ------- /----- ------- ---- -----------/

Quinn and Mark delFigallo were the first act up. Mark stood awkwardly in centrestage, while Quinn eagerly stabbed some discordant keys on her keyboard.

Mark held the microphone to his pouting, downturned mouth.

'My name is Mark delFiggalo...' he muttered.

'It means of the figs, I bet you didn't know!' Quinn screamed, unnervingly loudly. Several members of the audience jumped.

'I hope you like our little show...'

'And if you don't, then GO!' Quinn scowled threateningly. Most of the kids watching gathered up their belongings, along with half of the teachers. 'No, no,' Quinn added hastily. 'Not really. It just rhymes, see? We call this experimental art. Like it? Whoo!' She cheered excitedly, hoping everyone would join in. When they didn't, Mark threw down the microphone and slumped off the stage, crying bitter tears of disappointment.

'Oh, he's so sensitive!' Quinn gasped, hurrying off after him. She stopped just before exiting the stage, held up a rock and screamed, 'ROCK ON!' She then threw the 'rock on' at Mr Bender, who collapsed in a crumpled heap of clown-like clothes, only to be trampled by eager pre-teens hungry for blood as Chloe and her band entered the stage confidently, albeit not coolly.

'Helloooo, PCA!' Chloe shrieked, looking especially preppy today in her pink T-shirt and short orange mini. 'Plug it in, guys, and turn it up!'

Rolling her eyes, Cola 'plugged in' her plastic guitar and struck the light-up chord as bubbles came out of the amp. Chloe grabbed the microphone and headbanged unconvincingly, her hair overstraightened so much that it didn't actually move.

'Chloe needed to be preppy, so she threw her dogs a bone...'

Chloe cackled and tossed her hand over her shoulder at her bandmates, who gritted their teeth but continued 'playing.'

'And her daddy's company was so big that he gave her a show for her own...

Chloe's the 'best friend' anyone could know  
And there's cash in it for you if you tell her so!  
Chloe's so 'loyal' ("Chloe!") she's 'there' when you call  
We love Chloe, see you at the mall!'

Nobody seemed to mind/realise that Chloe was singing this song about herself in the third person, or that she'd stolen it from Clifford the Big Red Dog that big furry ball of love!

'So we packed up the Rolls Royce car and left for PCA-EEEY-A

She stayed in Room 911 and hired loads of friends the next day  
There to greet our star Chlo-o-ee

Chloe's so much fun - she's leader of us all  
I love Chloe see you at the mall!'

'WHOOOOOOO!' Chloe screamed triumphantly. The crowd joined in, like brainwashed lemmings leaping from a cliff. Chloe kept bowing at the front of the stage, until the competition's organiser hurried up and led her off. 'Get your hands off me! I'm paying your salary, buddy!'

She was so preoccupied battling with the teacher that she missed the start of the guys' song. She missed Slogan's shocked and horrified reaction as Chase sang the opening lyrics... 'I love Chloe, from my head to my toey!'

/ ---- -- ------------ -------- ---- ------- /----- ------- ---- -----------/

Ooh, what did you think! Will Chloe FINALLY realise Flace's weak and well-rehearsed feelings towards her? And why are we asking you all these questions? Tune in again soon for the conclusion of this thrilling cliffhanger. And don't forget to read and review! Ciao. \m/\m/


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